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Cheers and Jeers: Family Dysfunction Awareness Day

admin2020z by admin2020z
November 26, 2020
in POLITICS
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Before the election I predicted that, if he won, Joe Biden would call the Butterball Hotline at least once during his presidency. I stand by that. He just gives off that vibe. As we wait for our 46th president to prove me correct, here’s another POTUS—“Joe Bethersonton”—doing the deed:

YouTube Video

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My annual list of thanks, a Molly Ivins bon mot, and a few more goodies below the fold. Then let’s eat.

Cheers and Jeers for Thanksgiving 2020

Note: As for the rest of the C&J posting week, nothing formal tomorrow, although we’ll post a “Who won the week” poll—the greatest ever—in the diaries at our usual Friday evening time (7:30ET). Back Monday.  Have a great holiday and may your end of the wishbone be the long one.

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14 days!!!

Days ’til Christmas: 29

Days ’til the National Menorah lighting in D.C.: 14

Date of Lincoln’s Thanksgiving proclamation: 10/3/1863

Number of NFL games today: 2 (Ravens-Steelers game postponed due to Covid-19)

Population of Turkey, Texas (hometown of Bob Wills): 384

Percent of Parade readers who believe calories don’t exist on Thanksgiving: 69%

Number of Thanksgivings during which Eric Trump has gotten his head stuck in a can of cranberry sauce: 6

Number of Americans who intend to eat human brains for Thanksgiving dinner, up from 4,021 last year and spreading rapidly from northwest to southeast (stay tuned to your short-wave radios for updates and lock your doors): 5,641

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

The Progress Report has come up with some dandy things to be thankful for, starting with American troops. It also lists:

  • Rep. Jack Murtha, D-Pa., for showing it’s patriotic to speak your mind.
  • The 90 senators who stood up to Cheney to say that torture is not an American value.
  • The 79 senators who demanded the Bush administration detail a plan for Iraq.
  • That Sen. Bill Frist is not our physician.

Consider these additional delights: Tom Delay is under indictment, Heckuva Job Brownie is no longer on the public payroll, and for some inexplicable reason, the administration found a Republican prosecutor in the Plame affair who seems to care more about the law than politics. […]

There’s music in poor bleeding New Orleans again, Ted Koppel and his hair put in a commendable 25 years, some terrific new films are out, my puppy has not eaten a shoe for an entire month now, and the Mountain West is moving from red to purple. So let’s all loosen our belts and get right down to the all-American tradition of overeating on Thanksgiving. It’s still a great country, even if it is a little strange. I am grateful for all my fellow citizens — how would we know it was America if we didn’t hear regularly from the nincompoop faction? Happy turkey to you all.

—Thanksgiving 2005

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Suck it up, Buttercup…

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And my world-famous annual…

Things For Which I Am Thankful: 2020 Edition

Our republic, which we’ve decided to keep for at least four more years

The 2020 Biden-Harris landslide

Red-to-blue flips Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona

Grassroots Democratic organizers and voters, especially in red states and doubly-especially women of color

Campaign volunteers, ride sharers, and polling place workers

Nancy Pelosi, preparing for her historic 4th term as Speaker of the House

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Katie Porter, and all the other kickass-style House Democrats

Having an astronaut (Mark Kelly) in the Senate again

The judges, legal teams, and elections officials who made Trump’s attempted coup one of the clumsiest and inept debacles in American history

House Intelligence and Impeachment Committee chair Adam Schiff

The legacies of Rep. John Lewis and Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg

Maine’s state government, which will spend another year with Dem control of the state House and Senate, and Democratic governor Janet Mills navigating the Covid-19 crisis with skill and compassion

The Congressional Black, Hispanic and Progressive Caucuses

Doctors

Nurses

Hospital administrative workers

Dr. Anthony Fauci

Essential workers

The Covid-19 tracers and trackers

The vaccine researchers sciencing the shit out of the virus

The governors and state health officials making difficult decisions and sticking to them as mobs of ignorant narcissists embrace superspreader events

Americans wearing masks (including over their nose), social distancing, and frequently washing their hands

New Zealand, for showing the world how to fight a pandemic together and win 

All the indigenous people of North America

Sadat Rahman, winner of Desmond Tutu’s 2020 International Children’s Peace Prize

The Nobel and Pulitzer winners

The first responders and relief organizers who went above and beyond in the wake of this year’s hurricanes, floods, and wildfires

Employers who give their employees Thanksgiving off

Employees who don’t get the day off so they can keep vital services running while the rest of us do

Teachers

Immigrants

Caregivers

Our troops over here and over there

Wind turbines and solar panels

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AMERICANS WHO VOTED

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Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, and SNL for continuing the renaissance in late-night political humor

Randy Rainbow and Sarah Cooper for lighting up social media

Freedom of the press

Freedom of speech fuck Trump

The hero witnesses of the Trump impeachment hearings, including Marie Yovanovitch, Alexander Vindman, Bill Taylor, and Fiona Hill. 

The cardboard boxes that’ll hold the stuff of departing White House maniacs Stephen Miller, Jared, Ivanka, Mike Pence, and the most destructive and corrupt cabinet in American history

The #5 thing on internet lists that actually SHOCK me

The Lincoln Project, for showing Democrats how to throw a punch

Ta-Nehisi Coates, Malcolm Nance, Joy Reid, Bishop William Barber, Joan Walsh, Charles Pierce, John Nichols, Howard Dean, E.J. Dionne, Eugene Robinson, David K. Johnston, the Kagro in the Morning radio show

Chuck Rosenberg’s zen aura

Naomi Klein, Marcy Wheeler, Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, Trump money-follower David Fahrenthold, Trump fact-checker Daniel Dale (who documented all 20,000+ of Trump lies), David Corn, Lawrence O’Donnell, Nicolle Wallace, Joy Reid

Atrios, Digby, Charles M. Blow, Americablog, John Cole, Joe Jervis, Michelangelo Signorile, Dan Savage, Leonard Pitts, Lizz Winstead

Media Matters, The Hispanic Federation, The Southern Poverty Law Center, PFAW, PFLAG, 350.org, RAICES, March for Our Lives, Indivisible, Black Lives Matter, Run For Something, Planned Parenthood, NAACP, IAVA, ACLU and the many other advocacy organizations that prevented the worst of Trump’s abuses, often in coordination with each other 

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Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter

Bill and Hillary Clinton

Barack and Michelle Obama

Joe and Jill Biden

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My partner, Michael, for growing old with me

Obamacare

All of my bosses (if you’re reading this, you’re one of them) at Daily Kos

The front-pagers and diarists here, for explaining stuff I don’t know boo about

My morning front-page blogger-neighbors: the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, morning cartoonists, and Elections Morning Digest

The rest of the progressive blogosphere, for having the wisdom to follow all of the orders issued by “Keyboard Kingpin” Markos “Mouse Tits” Moulitsas

Netroots Nation and its organizers, for executing a flawless virtual convention when the pandemic prevented the in-person one from happening in Denver

Those amazingly upbeat Good News Roundups

Dirty Fucking Hippies. We must breed more of them.

M’ doggie. M’ pootie. M’ squirrels.

Wineries

Distilleries

Breweries

Teriyaki sauce

Mayochup yes I said mayochup!

Taco Tuesdays

Excedrin Migraine. Next to the epidural, God’s gift to pain relief.

Blueberries

Candy corn

Snow

Evolution

Electric cars

High-speed rail

NASA

The expected return of net neutrality

The expected return to the Paris Climate Agreement

Unions

Diversity

The Resistance

Maine’s proximity to Canada

Peace. (Yeah, it’s a word. Really. I looked it up.)

That magic moment every day at 6am when the Bacardi 151 crosses the blood-brain barrier.

Microwave ovens, which are excellent for re-heating food that gets cold because some idiot spent three hours listing all the stuff he was thankful for.

My excellent memory

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Pass the taters.

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